Peace at any price

Incredulous here.

I read with disbelief in a recent Japan Times article that Curious George is asking for an extra $80 billion to secure the peace. Surely this is merely a spelling error - transplant an "m" for a "b" and we'll have the correct figure.

Well, no. This is an additional $80 billion to the already obtained $80 billion to cover the budget blowout for this debacle. If United Artists were bankrolling this Heaven’s Gate, they’d be experiencing déjà vu right about now. $160 billion has got to be the most expensive stake I've every heard of to buy a seat at a card game. I'm glad he's not gambling with my money. From a purely business perspective, wouldn't it have been cheaper to buy the fucking oil with brown bag deliveries to Hussein.

Or wouldn't it have been better to put $160+ billion into non-violent solutions to the "Iraq problem". But silly me, I'm sure he already tried that and it didn't work, right? I'm sure Curious has already asked for, received, and spent $160+ billion of taxpayers money on non-violent solutions that bore no fruit. He was at his wits end what to do next. No sense throwing good money after bad.

And I can understand Curious’ dilemma. Hussein might have escaped, or worse still his whole fucking country could have disappeared and have then been untraceable. After all, we've seen the difficulty there is in keeping track of those WMDs. How could one be expected to keep track of one despot. And Hussein had so many allies to call on, too. Let's see, there was... or at least there was... well, I'm sure he had some pretty big brothers out there somewhere who would have kicked the shit out of a united U.N. (after all, there are only 191 member states in that organization).

And the clock was ticking, too. Time was running out. Hussein's evil plan for world domination was almost complete. For after retrieving The Ark of the Covenant and the Spear of Destiny Hussein’s Army of Darkness would have goose-stepped across the globe. Although why he was fart-arsing around with both the Ark and the Spear when he’d already developed the rocket pack, I've got no fucking idea. I guess he just wanted to ensure that the prophecy predicting his downfall didn't trip him up at the finish line. Pity he didn't read the part about an "ape not born of woman."

Really, when I think about it like this, it all makes so much more sense.

Peace at any price. Going once. Going twice. Going three times for at least $160+ billion dollars to the man in the ape suit. Faaarrrrk.

Incredulous Out.