THE GREATEST COVER UP THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN
This realizaton hit me last night while I was watching the Argentina vs. Serbia & Montenegro World Cup match. Maradona standing in the stands (well, duh), was ceaslessly twirling a towel above his head in a mad frenzy. He looked like a man pretty excited about Argentinian soccer. Every time the camera cut back to him, around and around the towel continued to twirl. I was surprised that a stomach-stapled ex-junkie had the fortitude for such a display of patriotism.
Around and around the towel went...
Around and around...
And that's when I understood the brilliantly simple deception that Argentina was fooling the world with.
No living human could possible continue such a towel-twirling frenzy.
Maradona is animatronic!
Yes, Maradona, Argentina's Living National Treasure is in fact dead. I don't know when he died. Maybe he never regained conciousness when under the surgeon's knife. But dead he is. And he's been replaced with a robot double. Argentinian Soccer wants to keep the spirits of its team high, so they've never informed the world that Maradona is no more.
Now of course current robotics isn't what SF novels set in the future claim it to be, so the robot Maradona can't do much. He won't for instance be performing intergrated calculus (if there is such a thing). But then again he's just impersonating Maradona, so he doesn't have to. He just has to trundle out, act like he's having an apoplectic fit, and then trundle back out of sight until the next media event.
BTW, Kudos to Argentina for beating two countries in the one game. That will certainly save heaps of time later.
posted by winstoninabox @ 10:37 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I knew I would come across a really great World Cup posting here eventually, despite your claim not to have any interest in el futbol! Is it possible Maradona actually only spun his towel around tow or three times, and they had an expertly edited loop? And I think the Seria & Montenegro strategy has promise- we should start negotiations now to see if we can possibly compete as Uruguay & Australia next time around. (What were the Montenegrins thinking of when they voted for independence? They wll never make a World Cup again)
My first idea was the same as yours dr. clam - clever editing. But the TV had some pretty amusing footage of Mandroidona towel-rage. One foolish spectator grabbed the towel, perhaps hoping to claim a piece of not just World Cup but also robotics history. But little did the towel thief realize that Mandroidona can defend itself! He don't need no stinking 3 laws. Mandroidona went absolutely ballistic, and this was to a countryman. I'm sure that kind of ad-lib madcap hilarity couldn't be achieved through any sleight-of-hand in the editing room.
Postscript: As widely reported in the less than investigative media "Maradona" was fined for speeding after the game. This was obviously achieved by the use of a body double.
Was the 'speeding' in question a traffic offence or a drug one?
With Maradroidona it's not "or" but "and".
Post a Comment
<< Home