Are you ready for pain?

Are you ready for suffering?

If so then I suggest you bypass Captain Freedom’s Aerobic Workout. It’s for pussies. Real men do… Power Yoga.

Attended a Power Yoga class at the gym on the weekend. Never having done any kind of yoga, let alone the power kind, I thought it was going to be some kind of stretching class followed by the sipping of Rosehip tea. The pintsize and particularly fierce looking Tinkerbell instructing the class put an end to that misconception.

This woman was half my size, and although she didn’t look obviously muscular, she was obviously toned. Not that intimidating you’d think. Well you’d be wrong.

I think her other job must be as a physical trainer for the SAS. Either that or she is a dominatrix. After lulling us in with a kind attitude by asking if this was anyone’s first time, only do what you can, if it hurts stop, blah, blah, blah… she then proceeded to bark us into submission.

Power Yoga is a deadly art, but only on the practitioner. For the observer I’m sure it’s fuckin’ hilarious. Especially when one sees a 36 year old, slightly overweight gentleman attempting to achieve positions which all have names that would make a schoolboy snicker. Doubly hilarious when the correct position of the moonlighting dominatrix is compared with what the aforementioned gentleman is doing. Her “plank” position (a straight-arm pushup-like position) was as rigid as a, well, plank I guess. Mine, I mean this gentleman’s plank, looked like it had a big saggy bow with some water-caused swelling around the middle.

After 45 odd minutes of agony it was all over. I was covered in sweat and felt like I’d spent the afternoon alone in the confessional with a Catholic priest -spiritually elated but physically misused. The really amazing thing was that this state of pain and exhaustion was achieved without any free weights, machines, ropes, whips or chains. Just by trying to support your own body weight in the different positions.

I would’ve thought that at my age I was capable of supporting myself. I was wrong.

The Movie Maven

Hornblower: The Series
All 8 Hornblower episodes have now been watched. While each episode is a story in itself there is some continuity from episode to episode, so I recommend watching them in order. And recommend them I do. I like a show that knows its mark, and Hornblower hits it dead center.

Hornblower is set in the Napoleonic Wars, and is a jingoistic romp about a fictional English navel officer. Based on the books of C. S. Forester it delivers a little action tempered with a lot of character. While the characters seem to be straight from the templates of an RPG, and the plots little more than ripping yarns, I was drawn in all the same. This is because the actors utilize the sheer recognizability of the characters to shape strong performances.

The characters show growth over the 8 episodes, and the principal actors really convince. Standouts are the two leads – Ioan Gruffudd as Horatio Hornblower and Robert Lindsay as Sir Edward Pellew. They have a good master/apprentice, father/son relationship on screen, and I believed that they had the mindset of men from a time that is alien to us now. Their presence in all shows also brought a sense of continuity to the series. Kudos also goes to Andrew Grieve for his helming and other major crewmembers for their acting. They also contributed to the strength of each episode.

The effects are OK, but there were obviously budgetary restrictions on them. But while navel battles are part of Hornblower, I didn’t pay the overnight rental charge to see them. Like all good drama, I watched it for the characters. It is doubtful that another will be made, though I’d enlist for another mission. Ioan Gruffudd is moving on to bigger things. Having starred in King Arthur as Lancelot, we’ll soon see him as Mr. Fantastic in The Fantastic Four. There are even whispers that he could play a certain famous British secret agent.

Hornblower is for those who like a solid period piece.