A Confederacy of Dunce

I’ve noticed that I’m doing some pretty stupid things lately. Some might say that it’s not just lately, and I wouldn’t argue the point. Probably the silliest was the aforementioned borrowing of a shopping basket. But the list goes on:

• Last Friday I taught the wrong lesson at school. I taught this week’s lesson by mistake. What is supposed to happen first is the Japanese English teacher teaches the class a grammar point in Japanese. My class follows this, and its purpose is to give the students the opportunity to practice this grammar point using English. I should have realized by the blank stares of the students that few understood what I was talking about, but really there was no way to tell the difference from the blank stares I usually receive due to their boredom.

• When I’m riding an exercise bike at the gym I usually watch TV. The sound comes from an earphone, thus I'm mostly isolated from outside noises. As the TV is in Japanese, I have to concentrate fairly hard to keep up. Combining this with the fatigue from the exercise, and mentally I’m in another place. This lead up sounds like I'm trying to justify my stupidity. Well the other day I was startled when someone walked in front of me. So I grabbed wildly for the brakes – of the exercise bike.

• Mari and I want to the convenience store to buy some milk. I went to the back of the store where the milk is, while Mari with her long straight, black hair and wearing jeans, t-shirt, and a denim jacket stood next to the magazine rack flicking through a fashion magazine. After picking up the milk I walked back to the magazine rack and cheekily asked the girl standing there with long, straight black hair wearing jeans, t-shirt, and a denim jacket, if she’d buy me a porno magazine or two. I think you can see where this is going.

• It’s not because I'm not a manly man, but because the air is so dry that I spray toner on my face. Yes sir, that’s the reason. Anyway, let’s move on. On the shelf the toner sits next to the deodorant. Yesterday I sprayed myself a face full of deodorant.

I’m thinking of pitching my life to a Hollywood producer as the plot for the next Dumb and Dumber movie.